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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny biker t shirts and other funny jokes |
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Great Joke
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?A: From eating with forks.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
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Business Joke
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: 'Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?' The man below says: 'Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. ' 'You must work in Technical Support, ' says the balloonist. 'I do, ' replies the man. 'How did you know?' 'Well' says the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless. ' The man below says: 'You must be in management. ' 'I am, ' replies the balloonist, 'but how did you know?' 'Well', says the man, 'you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're still in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault. '
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Practical Joke
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. 'Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal, ' he starts writing in his notebook. 'But I'm not a Giants fan, ' the little hero replied. 'Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were. ' said the reporter and starts again. 'Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack' he continued writing in his notebook. 'I'm not a Jets fan either, ' the boy said. 'I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?' the reporter asked. 'I'm a Cowboys fan, ' the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, 'Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet. '
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Strange Humor
What will Bill Clinton be known for in history? The president after Bush!
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Old People Joke
Signs You're Getting Old
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You're the one calling the police because the kids next door won't turn down their stereo.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating fried chicken at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
A $5. 00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff. '
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
'I just can't drink the way I used to,' replaces, 'I'm never going to drink that much again. '
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Never judge a girl by her bumper sticker.
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Aviation Joke
An airplane was flying from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced, 'We have lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it will take 7 hours to get to New York. ' A little later, the pilot announced, 'A second engine failed, but we still have two left. However, it will take 10 hours to get to New York. ' Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced, 'A third engine had died. Never fear, because the plane can fly on a single engine. However, it will now take 18 hours to get to new York. ' At this point, one passenger said, 'Gee, I hope we don't lose that last engine, or we'll be up here forever!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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