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bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny best man poems and other funny jokes |
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Worlds Best Joke
Top Ten Ways A Computer Nerd Can Impress His Date10. Flash the big wads of tens and twenties you created with your color laser printer and top-notch graphics program. 9. Spend an evening playing floppy disks backward, listening for the secret messages about Satan. 8. Invite her back to your place to show her the etchings on your Newton MessagePad. 7. Let the lady go first when you reach the virtual reality escalator. 6. Serenade her with your MIDI-compatible drum pads. 5. Have your dinner illuminated by the soft glow of an active-matrix LCD panel. 4. If you're getting serious, consider a set of 'his 'n' her' system unit keys. 3. Drive her crazy by murmuring tender love words with the help of a French-speaking voice synthesizer. 2. Never type on your date's laptop computer without permission, particularly if the system is on her lap. 1. When things get tough, simply ask yourself, 'What would Bill Gates do in a situation like this?
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
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Waiter Joke
Waiter, my lunch is talking to me ! Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !
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Village Idiot Joke
Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, 'What is Easter?'The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful. . . ''Wrong!, You must go to HELL' replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, 'What is Easter?'The second blonde replies, 'Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus. 'St. Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head in disgust on the Pearly Gates, tells her she's wrong and to go to HELL, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, 'What is Easter?'The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, 'I know what Easter is. ' 'Oh?' says St. Peter, incredulously. 'Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder. 'St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, 'Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out. . . and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter. '
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Computing Joke
11th-hour tweaks for Windows '98 by Microsoft10. Included subliminal 'Impeach Janet Reno' messages in start-up screen. 9. New Internet Explorer feature: whenever you visit a Web site ending in '. gov, ' a message first appears reminding you that Microsoft is not a monopoly. 8. Source code no longer ones and zeros--try 666s and zeros. Windows start-up theme, played backward, says, Here's to my sweet Satan. ' 7. Comes with check for $50 that, if cashed, puts your name on an Internet petition telling the DOJ to buzz off *and* changes your long distance carrier to AT&T. 6. New desktop icon--click once, and $1 will go directly from your checking account into the Microsoft Legal Defense Fund. 5. Added new template to preinstalled version of Word: 'Letter to the editor expressing delight with Microsoft products. ' 4. Freebie computer-controlled Barney doll has been reprogrammed to say, 'Big government is sca-a-ary. Janet tried to hurt me. ' 3. TV function scrambles C-Span during antitrust hearings. 2. Desktop display with countdown tracking number of copies of Windows 98 that must yet be bought to prevent worldwide economic collapse! 1. Last-minute name change: was 'Windows '98
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Honk If Anything Falls Off
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At Work Joke
Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. 'But you just had two weeks off, ' said the boss. 'Why didn't you get married then ?' 'What and ruin my vacation ?' she whined.
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Idiot and fool Joke
Did you hear about the village idiot buying bird seed? He said he wanted to grow some birds.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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