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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny bday messages and other funny jokes |
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Miscellaneous Joke
your mamma is so fat when she goes swimming in the ocean she gets harpooned.
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Book title Joke
Seasons Greetings by Mary Christmas
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Job and Office Joke
TWELVE THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing. 2. If it's really a 'rush job, ' run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That greatly aids my efficiency. 3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are. 4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't open the door for me. I might need to learn how to function as a paraplegic in future and opening doors is good training. 5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. Let me guess. 6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. 7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could get me a promotion. 8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. 9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. If fact, save them until the job is almost done. 10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them. 11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life. 12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Egbert.
Egbert who?
Egbert no bacon please!
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Religious Joke
There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death's door, and said to her papal neighbour. 'Father, surely you can do something about this. . . ' To which the Pope replied, 'Sorry lady, I'm in sales, not management. '
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Simple Joke
Fitness Philosophy - JokesGalore Style!My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the hell she is!The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up?I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. I don't jog. . . it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
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Music Joke
Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud? A: You can almost hear them.
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Insect Joke
First Caribou: Which bug gobbles up trash? Second Caribou: The litterbug.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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