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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny baby grows and other funny jokes |
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Aardvark Joke
How many aardvarks can ride on an elephant?
Six. . . three on the back and three in the trunk!
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Business Joke
The smoke detector industry is covering up research showing more people are injured every year falling from ladders and stepstools while trying to replace smoke detector batteries than are injured in house fires.
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Village Idiot Joke
Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, 'I hear sirens. Jump!' The second one said, 'But we're on the 13th floor!' The first one screamed back, 'This is no time to be superstitious. '
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Business Joke
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00pm and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a 'rush job', run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone
where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating
with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I like being a psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a
secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in
conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
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Aviation Joke
A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. 'Throw out more!' shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. 'More!' he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control. He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who's crying. They ask him why he's crying and he says 'A pistol hit me on the head!'They drive more and meet another boy who's crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, 'A rifle hit me on the head!'They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who's laughing hysterically. They ask him, 'Kid, what's so funny?' The boy replies, 'I sneezed and a house blew up!'
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Waiter Joke
Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup! Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be wading
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Joke for Kids
Q: What do you get when you cross a 1-legged Polak with a Mongoloid?A: A Polaroid One-Step.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Biro ! Biro who ? Biro light of the moon !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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