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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny baby cards and other funny jokes |
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Pig Joke
FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you?
SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.
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Weird Women Joke
A woman participating in a survey was askedhow she felt about condoms. She said, 'Depends on what's in it for me. '
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Men Joke
Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.
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Satire Joke
AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial:'I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face. ''This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way that I know how: head on. ''I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it. ''Thank you. ' Monica Lewinsky
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Computer Joke
Why did a group of Columbians run away from a computer lab. Because the computer said you have performed an illegal operation and will be shutdown.
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Priceless Joke
Sung to the tune of 'The Beverly Hillbillies'Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John, A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone, It seems one night after gettin' with the wife, She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife. Penis, that is. Clean Cut. Missed his nuts. Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side, And Lorena's in the car taken' Willie for a ride. She soon got tired of her purple-headed friendAnd tossed him out the window as she rounded a bend. Curve, that is. Tossed the nub. In the shrub. She went to the cops and confessed to the attack, And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back. They sniffed and they barked and they pointed 'Over there'To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air. Found, that is. By a fence. Evidence. Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too longSo a dick doc said, 'Hey, I can fix that dong!''A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need'And the whole world waited till they heard thatJohnny peed. Whizzed, that is. Even seam. Straight stream. Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to courtWith a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short. They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape, And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape. Video, that is. Unexposed. Case Closed. Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?
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Fun Funny Joke
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head!But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! - A torso pops out!The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink!' But the bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! - Two arms pop out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink!' The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! - Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left. . . . then to the right. . . . right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly!The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says. . . 'That boy should have quit while he was a head!'
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?A: Mace.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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