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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny award ideas and other funny jokes |
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Easy to Remember Joke
Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming : 'My penis just died, my penis just died!'The nurses calm him down, and he goes back to his room. The next day, grandpa is running around again with his privates hanging out, so the nurse asks him: 'I thought you said yesterday that your penis died. What happened?'Grandpa replies: 'Yes, it did. . . but today is the viewing!'
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Money Joke
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any 'we' in the first place. '
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Simple Joke
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heaven's gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, 'I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out, ' and he leaves. The couple sits for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work out?' they wonder, 'Are we stuck together forever?'St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes, ' he informs the couple, 'You can get married in Heaven. ''Great, ' says the couple, 'but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground!'What's wrong?' exclaims the frightened couple. 'Come on!' St. Peter exclaims, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here!Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer!?'
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Bumper Stickers - 1
I need someone really bad. . . Are you really bad
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Christmas Joke - 1
I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory. 'Have you passed?' I asked. Father Christmas pointly proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for yourself!' he called proudly. 'No-el plates!'
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Joke Online
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says 'I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter. ' Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man. God got mad and said. 'You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!' Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line? The man said, 'I don't know. My wife told me to stand here. '
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Telephone Joke
Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!
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Easy to Remember Joke
What is the difference between a good Lawyer and a great Lawyer?Answer: A good Lawyer knows the law and a great Lawyer knows the Judge!!!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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