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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny ashtrays and other funny jokes |
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Great Joke
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, 'Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?'The little boy thinks for a moment and says, 'NONE!' The teacher replies, 'None, how do you figure that?' The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence. ' The teacher replies, 'Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!'The little boy then says, 'Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?'The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, 'Well, I guess the one sucking her cone. 'To which the little boy replies, 'Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!'
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Old age Joke
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. 'I couldn't help noticing how happy you look, ' she said. 'What's your secret for a long happy life?' 'I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, ' he said. 'I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise. ' 'That's amazing, ' the woman said. 'How old are you?' 'Twenty-six, ' he said.
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Stand Up Joke
You should 'never' drink during tax season. 'You might shoot at tax collectors and miss!'
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Funny College Joke
Q - Why do women have smaller feet than men?? A - So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink!Q - The dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door. . . which do you let in first? A - The dog of course, at least he'll shut up once he's inside!Q - What do you call a woman with 2 brain cells? A - PregnantQ - What do you call a woman that has lost 95% of her intelligence? A - Divorced
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Situation Joke
A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to 'enforce the laws pending. ' He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, 'Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?' The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, 'This here's a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?' The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, 'This here's an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?' The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license. The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said, 'This here's an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon state hunting license?' Once again, only this time more aggravated, the hunter produced the appropriate license. The warden, a little miffed at having struck out, handed the ducks back to the hunter and said, 'You've got all of these licenses, just where the hell are you from?' The hunter dropped his pants, bent over, and said 'You're so smart, YOU tell ME!'
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats? So they can see the old Polish Navy!
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying 'No Hard Feelings'.
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Man made beer, God made pot you make the choice.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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