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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny animated gifts and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
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Marriage Joke
In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar. Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!
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Great Joke
There was a little red man who lived in a little red house on a little redstreet in a little red town. Now this little red man wanted to take alittle red shower so he put his little red towel on the little red towelrack. Just as he was about to get in, the little red doorbell rang. So he put his little red towel around his little red waist and went to thelittle red door. He opened the little red door and there stood a woman. Just then a big gust of wind came and blew the little red towel away. Thewoman screamed, ran accross the road and got hit by a car. The moral of the story?Never run accross the road when the little red man is flashing.
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Aardvark Joke
Where does the aardvark family always come first? In the phone book!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I love my country but fear my government.
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Romance Joke
The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his room and says, 'Sol, I'm happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the heart function that you did when you were a fifteen-year-old lad. We're going to send you home tomorrow. You don't have to worry about your heart; do any physical exercise that you like. ' Mr. Steinberg goes home and that evening is talking with his wife: 'Doris, you'll never believe it: I'm completely well. I have no worries with my heart. Tonight, Darling, you and I are going to make love like you've never had before, wild, passionate sex. . . . you'll love it!'Doris thinks for a minute and says, 'I don't know, Sol. I've heard about active sex and heart conditions. I don't want it to be on my head if you croak while we are making love. Maybe, just maybe, if your doctor wrote a note to me saying that everything was OK. . . maybe I would have such sex with you. . . . ' Mr. Steinberg was dejected, but the next day he was in his doctor's office; his doctor tells him, 'Sure, sure, Sol, no problem, I'll write the note. Let's see, here's my prescription pad: 'Mr. Sol Steinberg, a patient of mine, has the heart function of a fifteen-year-old lad and can have mad, passionate, adventurous sex any time that he so desires, signed, Dr. Aaron Katz. . . . . . . Now, I'll just address this. . . . . . . By the way, Sol, what's your wife's first name?' 'Uh, Doctor, could you just make that, 'To Whom It May Concern'?
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Situation Joke
This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, 'cough drops' and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, 'What are you doing here, m'am?'The woman pulled herself up to her full height oF 4'4 and replied, 'Well, I can suck em can't I?'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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