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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny air fresheners and other funny jokes |
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Horse Joke
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
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Dentist Joke
How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.
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Drunks Joke
A customer was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he noticed a tiny little spot on the wall that seemed to be moving. He called it to the bartender's attention. He glanced at it and said, 'It's a ladybug. 'After a moment of stunned silence the customer said, 'Good Lord, what incredible eyesight you have!'
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Strange Humor
A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. 'Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $'500
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Worlds Best Joke
Q: How did the Polish mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?A: Yellow in the front, brown in the back!
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Elderly People Joke
One day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed. 'Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in thegreatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!''Did I say I was 64?''Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?''Damn straight you did! I'm 85!''85!! Unbelievable! You would be in great shape if you were25! How old was your father when he died?''Did I say he was dead?''You mean. . . ''Damn straight! He's 106 and going strong!''My Lord! What a healthy family you must come from!How long did your grandfather live?''Did I say he was dead?''No! You can't mean. . . ''Damn straight! He's '126
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Celebrities Joke
What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called? Missionary Position Impossible.
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Joke for Kids
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long. (Lick finger and wipe on shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes. Nice legs. . . . what time do they open?Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package. You've got 206 bones in your body, want 1 more?I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a BIG BREASTED BED THRASHER, have you seen one?I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest women on earth tonight. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked. Is that a ladder in you stockings or the stairway to heaven?You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'm cute?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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