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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny adult gifts and other funny jokes |
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Beets ! Beets who ? Beets me, but I just forgot the joke !
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Instrument Joke
Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that's not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it. Q: How can you tell the stage you're playing on is level?A: The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard. Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos?A: They make great anchors!Q: Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo?A: They make good paddles. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?A: A chain saw has a dynamic range. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?A: You can turn off a chainsaw. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a Harley-Davidson motorcycle?A: You can tune a Harley. Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun?A: An Uzi only repeats 40 times. Q: Why does everyone hate a banjo right off?A: Saves time. Q: Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's best friend?A: Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated instrument on earth. Q: How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?A: By their names. Q: What is the most seldom heard comment made of banjo players?A: 'Say, isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?'Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?A: Will the defendant please rise.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. 'Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going?'. 'Oy vey, Abraham, it's not going so good, we had a flood last week. ''So, Morrie, ' whispers Abraham 'How do you start a flood?'.
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Joke for Holidays
Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question. They had worked for months gathering one each of every computer that was built. Finally the big day was at hand. All the computers were linked together. They asked the question, 'IS THERE A GOD?'Suddenly there was a loud crash, and in a brilliant explosion of silicon and plastic the computers fused into what appeared to the scientists to be one large computer in place of the many smaller ones. One of the scientists raced to the printer as it finally output its answer. 'There is now', read the printout.
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Bicycle Joke
The school teacher was furious when Brad knocked him down with his new bicycle in the school yard. 'Don't you know how to ride that yet?' he roared. 'Oh yes!' shouted Brad over his shoulder. 'It's the bell I can't work yet.
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Elephant Joke
What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside ? An elephant disguised as a banana !
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Spoof Joke
A guy is outside in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with hisson. Every time the kite gets up in the air, it comes crashing down. After this goes on for awhile, his wife sticks her head out thefront door and yells, 'You need more tail. 'The guy turns to his son and says, 'Son, I never will understandwomen. I just told her an hour ago I needed more tail, and she saidto go fly a kite!'
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Strange Humor
Teacher: Jeff, have you been copying Johnny's test again?Jeff: Yes, but how did you know?Teacher: On question #'1
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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