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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny adult birthday cards and other funny jokes |
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Baby Joke
What was the policeman's baby's first words ? Hallo, Hallo, Hallo !
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Funniest Joke
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?A. RuthlessQ. What do they call pastors in Germany?A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord. Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?A. Samson. He brought the house down. Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing. Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep. Q. Which Bible character had no parents?A. Joshua, son of Nun.
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Mother Joke
An elderly woman is sitting in the hospital waiting room, waiting while her daughter-in-law gives birth. A while later, a doctor comes out.
'Mrs. Goldburg, I have wonderful news! Your daughter-in-law just gave birth to twins! A boy in a girl, they are perfectly healthy! Oh, Mazel Tov!'
Mrs. Goldburg turns to Mrs. Rubenstein, who is seated next to her. 'Isn't it wonderful? And look at that, my daughter-in-law just gave birth to twins, and my son works at the Twin Towers!' said Mrs. Goldburg.
A while later, another doctor comes out and walks over to Mrs. Rubenstein, another woman waiting for her daughter-in-law to give birth.
'Mrs. Rubenstein, Mazel Tov! Your daughter-in-law just gave birth to triplets! They are beautiful and healthy, and your daughter-in-law is fine. '
Mrs. Rubenstein turns to Mrs. Cohen who is seated next to her.
Mrs. Rubenstein says, 'Can you believe it? My daughter-in-law just had triplets, and my son works at Triple-A!'
Mrs. Cohen gets up and and begins to gather her things. 'I have to get out of here! My son works at Seven-Up!'
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Assorted Joke
A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front:Let me put my tool in your mouth. . . and on the back: . . . and I will fill your cavity.
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Food Joke
Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. 'Why are we running so fast?' asked one. 'Because, ' said the second, 'it says 'tear along the dotted line'!'
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Pig Joke
What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail? 'That's the end of me!'
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor these pills you gave me for BO. . . What's wrong with them? They keep slipping out from under my arms!
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Ada ! Ada who ? Ada'mond is forever !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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