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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny action games and other funny jokes |
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Cat Joke
What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws ? An acrocat !
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Dog Joke - 1
What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ? A dingo-ling !
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Joke for Speeches
Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples:1. A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved. 2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one. 3. A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window. 4. The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed. 5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage. 6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight. 7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers. 8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature. 9. The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers. 10. What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, kites and slightly used Rice Krispies.
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Dumb People Joke
Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring. 'Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do, ' said Irving. 'Sounds great, ' Morris replied, 'but how do you make it last for an hour?''That's easy. . . just keep her in the waiting room for 59 minutes!'
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Law Enforcement Joke
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. 'Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?' inquired the officer. 'Mister, ' exclaimed the telephone lineman, 'I was at the top of the pole!'
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Office Humor
Here I am at Camp Grenada. Camp is very entertaining, and they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining. I went hiking with Joe Spivy. He developed poison ivy. You remember Leonard Skinner; he got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner. All the counselors, hate the waiters, and the lake has alligators. And the head coach was no sissy, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses. Now I don't want this to scare ya. But my bunkmate has malaria. You remember Jeffrey Hardy. . . They're about to organize a search party. Take me home, oh mother, father. Take me home, I hate Grenada. Don't leave me out in the forest where I might get eaten by a bear. Take me home, I promise I will not make noise or mess the house with other boys. Oh please, don't make me stay! I've been here one whole day. Dearest father, darling mother, how's my precious little brother? Let me come home if you miss me. I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me. . . Wait a minute. . . It stopped raining! Guys are biking. Guys are sailing, playing baseball. . . Gee, that's better!Mother, father, kindly disregard this letter!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
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Joke for Halloween
An exhibitionist named Joe was preparing to board a flight to Atlanta. As he approached the open door of the plane at the end of the jet way, a very attractive flight attendant was collecting boarding passes. As she reached toward him for his boarding pass, he opened his raincoat and exposed himself. 'I'm sorry sir, ' she said politely, 'but you have to show your ticket; not your STUB. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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