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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 50th birthday verses and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 1
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory
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Dumb Men Joke
What do men have in common with toilet bowls, aniversaries, andclitorises?They miss them all.
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Bible Joke
Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. 'Well, mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. 'When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites. ' 'Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his mother asked. 'Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it. '
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Relationships Joke
A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor. He gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests, then concluded, 'Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. ' 'Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's 'love canal'. Then, on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue. ' 'Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his 'love pole'. Then, like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut. ' The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful. They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them. He conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests. Then he told the Greens the bad news. 'I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be. I cannot help. ' The Greens pleaded with him, and said, 'You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please help us. ' 'Well, all right', the doctor said. 'On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of Cheerios. . . '
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went 'tick, tick, tick'?'Ve haff vays of making you tock!'
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History Joke
You've failed history again ! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !
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Practical Joke
TOP 10 REASONS FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX. . . . 10. LASTS FROM DAWN TILL DUSK9. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SECRET HOLE8. ALLOWED SEVERAL FISH DAILY7. CAN CHOOSE THE LENGTH OF YOUR ROD6. CAN FISH ANY TIME OF THE MONTH5. YOU CLEAN IT BEFORE YOU EAT IT4. ABLE TO TAKE A NAP WHILE YOU FISH3. THE COST OF BAIT IS CHEAPER THAN A DATE2. YOU CAN ALWAYS THROW IT BACK1. YOUR FAVORITE CATCH CAN BE MOUNTED ON THE WALL
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Men Joke
Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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