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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 40th birthday sayings and other funny jokes |
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Zoo Joke
A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression. Dad, ' the boy said finally, 'if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up . . . ' 'Yes, son?' the father said expectantly. 'What bus should I take home?' the boy finished.
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Doctor Joke
I went to my podiatrist to have a bunion removed.
When the treatment ended, I asked if another appointment would be necessary.
He said,'No, but if you experience any discomfort, you should callous back. '
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Aviation Joke
Tower: Cannot read you, say again! Pilot: Again!
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Hey dumb ass I bought my own car, not mommy and daddy!
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Old People Joke
OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expireOLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled overOLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for sixOLD DANCERS never die, they just step awayOLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouragedOLD DEANS never die, they just lose their facultiesOLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pullOLD DIETERS never die, they just waist awayOLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom timeOLD DIVERS never die, they just flopOLD DIVERS never die, they just get boardOLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their springOLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patienceOLD EDITORS do it with a red penOLD ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS never die, they just have slower rise times
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus? A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, 'Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?'
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Gorilla Joke
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall building? Fall-adelphia!
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Funny Kids Joke
What' s grey, has four legs and jumps up and down?An elephant on a trampoline!What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?An elephant with hiccups!What's grey and goes round and round?An elephant in a washing machine!What's grey and highly dangerous?An elephant with a machine gun!What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland?The Loch Ness Elephant!What's big and grey and has 16 wheels?An elephant on roller skates!What goes up slowly and comes down quickly?An elephant in a lift!What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?An elephant's shadow!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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