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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 40th birthday poems and other funny jokes |
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Law and Lawyer Joke
Excuse me, a young fellow said to an older librarian, 'I've just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers. ' 'Well, ' replied the librarian, 'I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able to prove it yet. '
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Very Silly Joke
Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, 'Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?' His roommate lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, 'I don't feel anything. 'Bruce says, 'Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out. ' So his roommate lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's ass. He feels around, and then pulls out a Rolex watch. He says, 'I found your problem. There was a watch stuck up your ass. ' Bruce starts singing, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. . . '
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people. When a disgruntled customer at a window exclaimed, 'No Tickets?' What do you mean NO TICKETS?'The women waiting on him smiled sweeting. 'I'm terribly sorry, sir, ' she replied. 'Which word didn't you understand?'
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Relationships Joke
'What's this I hear about you breaking off your engagement Pam ?' said her closest friend. 'Well, ' Pam confirmed, 'although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left a lot to be desired. '
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Dirty Joke
A male market researcher was calling on homes on behalf of Vaseline. A woman answered the door. 'Do you use Vaseline?' asked the researcher. 'Certainly, ' she said. 'It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns. ' 'And what about anything else?' he asked. 'Like what?' He became embarrassed. 'Well, sex, maybe. ' Oh, of course. ' she said. 'I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my husband out. '
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Stupid Blonde Joke
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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Love and Marriage Joke
When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, 'Life isn't worth living. I think I'm gonna top myself. ' 'Don't be stupid, Joe, ' said the psychiatrist. 'My wife ran off and left me too, yet I'm happy. ' 'How?' asked Joe. 'Easy, ' replied the quack. 'I threw myself into my work. I totally submerged myself in my job and soon forgot her. By the way, Joe, what work do you do?' 'I clean out septic tanks. ' Joe replied.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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