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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 40th birthday and other funny jokes |
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Fun Funny Joke
A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, 'Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?' 'Well, yes, I actually did once. ' 'And how did your husband look?' 'Angry, very angry. 'At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, 'Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?''He was looking through the window at us!'
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Romance Joke
Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishionersafter his Sunday morning service as he always does whenMary Clancey came up to him in tears. 'What's bothering you so, dear?' inquired Farther O'Grady. 'Oh, father, I've got terrible news. ' Replied Mary. 'Well what is it, Mary?''Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father. ''Oh, Mary' said the father, 'that's terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?''Well, yes he did father, ' replied Mary. 'What did he ask, Mary?'Mary replied, 'He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun. . . ''
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Elderly People Joke
Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. 'How old was your husband?' he asked. 'He was ninety-eight, ' she answered softly. 'Two years oder than I am. ''Really?' the undertaker said. 'Hardly worth going home, wouldn't you say?'
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Best Joke
A guy's driving down a country road when he comes upon a sign saying 'Apples - $5. 00 each. ' He thinks that that is a lot of money so he decides to go see what's up. He goes up to the farmer and says, 'Hey, how come these apples are 5 bucks each?' The farmer replies, 'They are peanut butter and jelly apples. ' The farmer hands him one and says, 'Here, try one. 'So the man takes a bite out of the apple and says, 'Peanut butter - that's great, but I thought you said that they were peanut butter and jelly apples. 'The farmer tells the man to turn it around. The man bites the other side and exclaims 'son of a gun - jelly!' The man says, 'These apples are great - give me some!'He gets back in his car and drives a little further down the road and then sees another sign 'Apples - $10 each. ' Again, he pulls over, goes to the farmer and says, 'Hey, what's up with these apples?'The farmer says, 'They're ham and cheese apples. Here, try one. 'The guy takes a bit and exclaims, 'Son of a gun - ham!' The guy then says, 'Let me guess - I have to turn it around. 'The farmer says 'You got it. ' The guy bites the other side and says, 'Cheese. ' Again the man says, 'These apples are great - give me some. 'Then he gets back in his car and drives down the road. He comes upon a third sign that says 'Apples - $50 each. ' The guy really wants to see what's up with these apples. Again, he pulls over, goes up to the farmer and says, 'What's the deal with these apples? 50 bucks each?'The farmer tells him that 'These apples are pussy apples. Here, try one. 'The guy takes a bite out of it and says, 'Yuck! This apple tastes like shit!'The farmer says, 'Turn it around!'
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Bible Joke
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end. . . 'And lead us not into temptation', she prayed, 'but deliver us some e-mail, Amen. '
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Priceless Joke
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bartender asksthe man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chainaround?The man answered ' HEY!! you ever tried pushing one of thesethings!!'
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Bird Joke
Why did the chicken cross the playground ? To get to the other slide
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Ethnical Joke
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ' We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive'The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers 'God Save The Queen' and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers 'Viva La France' and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers 'Remember the Alamo' and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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