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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 30th birthday poems and other funny jokes |
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Elephant Joke
What did the elephant say to the famous detective ? It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock !
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Golf Joke
A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf, enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway.
He looks at the caddy and says, 'I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake. '
The caddy looks back at him and says, 'I don't think you could keep your head down that long. '
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Simple Joke
Why is food better than men?Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.
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Dumb Joke
Last name: _________________First name:(Check appropriate box)[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue Age: ______ (if unsure, guess) Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right Occupation:[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician Spouse's Name_________________________2nd Spouse's Name: _________________3rd Spouse's Name: _________________ Lover's Name: ________________________2nd Lover's Name: ___________________ Relationship to spouse:[_] Sister [_] Aunt[_] Brother [_] Uncle[_] Mother [_] Son[_] Father [_] Daughter[_] Cousin [_] Pet Number of children living in household: _____Number of children living in shed: _____Number that are yours: _____ Mother's Name: ___________________Father's Name: ___________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?___ Total number of vehicles that you own___ Number of vehicles that still crank___ Number of vehicles in front yard___ Number of vehicles in back yard___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks Where your firearms are kept:[_] truck [_] kitchen[_] bedroom [_] bathroom[_] shed Model and year of your pickup: _______ 194_ Do you have a gun rack?[_] Yes [_] No; if no, please explain:_____________________ Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:[_] National Enquirer [_] The Globe[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest[_] Rifle and Shotgun ___ Number of times you've seen a UFO___ Number of times you've seen Elvis___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO How often do you bathe:[_] Weekly[_] Monthly[_] Not applicable Color of teeth:[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow[_] Brown [_] Black[_] N/A How many?_____ Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man How far is your home from a paved road?[_] 200-400 miles[_] over 400 miles[_] what's a miles?
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Various animal Joke
How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin!
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Clean Humor
Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear?Multiple Personality -- We Three Queens Disoriented AreDementia -- I Think I'll Be Home For ChristmasNarcissistic -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)Mania -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and. . . or Deck the Halls and Spare No ExpensesBorderline Personality -- Thoughts of Roasting in an Open FireParanoia -- Santa Claus is Coming To Get MePersonality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry. I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll Tell You WhyDepression -- Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia. All is Calm, All is Pretty LonelyObsessive Compulsive -- Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock. . . Passive Aggressive -- On the First Day of Christmas My Mother Gave to Me. . . (And Then Took it All Away)
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Zodiac Joke
Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two (of course) but it will take all week and when they're done the light bulb will do your homework, speak French and shine any colour you want from it.
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Gorilla Joke
Why did the Gorilla fail English? He had little Ape-titude!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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