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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 30th birthday messages and other funny jokes |
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Insect Joke
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ? Bugs Bunny !
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Restaurant Joke
A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. 'The chicken sounds good; I'll have that, ' the woman says. The waiter nods. 'And the vegetable?' he asks. 'Oh, he'll have the fish, ' she replies.
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Law Enforcement Joke
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: 'Broken. '
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building.
'What are you doing?' he yelled after a quick glance at the meter.
'There's plenty of time left!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Abe ! Abe who ? Abe C D E F G H. . . !
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Joke for Halloween
The phone call. . . A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. Curious, the husband said, 'Who was that?'And his lovely wife replies, 'I don't any idea who it was. It was some stupid woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear. '
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Bumper Stickers - 7
There are only two things in life you can count on: Death and Taxes.
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Book title Joke
Birdwatching by Jack Daw
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Miscellaneous Joke
A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him 'What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?' The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, 'A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street. ' Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, 'Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven. ' The Lawyer said, 'Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter. ' Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, 'Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?' Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, 'Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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