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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 30th birthday and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Short Chicks rock!
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Cat Joke
Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day? - A: Mice cream
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Humor Joke
One day the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday. On the first Friday the teacher asks: 'How many grains of sand are on the beach?' needless to say, no one could answer. The following Friday, the teacher asks the class: 'How many stars are in the sky?' and again no one could answer. Frustrated little Johnny decides that the next Friday he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend. So Thursday night Johnny takes 2 ping pong balls and paints them black. The next day he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day just when the teacher says, 'here's this week's question, ' Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing. The teacher says, 'ok, who's the comedian with the black balls?'Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, 'Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!'
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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Strange Humor
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. 'Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent. ' 'One penny?!' exclaimed the guy. The barman replied, 'Yes. ' So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, 'Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?' 'Certainly sir, ' replies the bartender, 'but all that comes to real money. ' 'How much money?' inquires the guy. 'Four cents, ' he replies. 'Four cents?!' exclaims the guy. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' The barman replies, 'Upstairs with my wife. ' The guy says, 'What's he doing with your wife?' The bartender replies, 'Same as what I'm doing to his business. '
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American Joke
Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One bloke says, 'It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24! What kind of a wedding is that?'
The other says, 'Well, we have a name for it in my family. '
'What do you call it?'
'We call it a football wedding. '
The first asks, 'What's a football wedding?'
The other says, 'She's waiting for him to kick off!'
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Insect Joke
What did one centipede say to the other centipede ? You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs . . . . !
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Music Joke
Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants? A: They've had little use.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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