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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 21st birthday presents and other funny jokes |
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Great Joke
A Border Patrol agent is on duty. He spots two Mexicans and stopsthem. They show him their papers, but he thinks they are phony. He tells them, 'Okay, I have a test for you. I want you to use thewords liver and cheese in a sentence. ' So, the first guy says, 'I made a liver and cheese sandwich forlunch. 'The agent says, 'That was good, you can go. What about you?' he asksthe second guy. He says, 'Liver alone, cheese mine. '
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Clean Humor
A road crew is making a giant freeway, when they come across a sign and a lever. The sign reads 'pull lever and end world'. The workers decide not to pull the lever just in case. One night, a man named Nate is driving home. He is very drunk and is just about to hit the lever when he flies off of the road and explodes. The headlines in the newspaper the next day all read. . . 'better Nate than Lever'!
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Poker and Gambling Joke
A Blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.
The player said, 'When I get bad cards, it's not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?'
The dealer asked, 'When you eat out do you tip the waiter?'
'Yes. ' replied the player
'Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards so you should tip me. ' The dealer says
'OK, but the waiter gives me what I ask for. . . I'll take an eight. ' The player replies
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Science Joke
A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami. 'Would you like it sliced, sir?' the shopkeeper asked politely. 'What do you think I am?' replied the fag, '. . . a money box!'
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Yo momma Joke
yo mama so stupid she worked at an m&m factory and threw out all the W's.
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Friendship Joke
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any 'we' in the first place. '
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Various animal Joke
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!
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Joke for Speeches
Be nice to your kids. . . they will pick out your nursing home someday!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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