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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 18th birthday quotes and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Park in rear
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock! Who's there? Easter. Easter, who? Easter Bunny come to see if you've been good.
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said 'Sorry, no professionals. ' Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said 'What a treasure!' and her father said 'Yes, let's go bury it. ' Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo mama so ugly they filmed 'Gorillas in the Mist' in her shower Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say 'Wow, is it Halloween already?' Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry. Yo mama so ugly they filmed 'Gorillas in the Mist' in her shower! Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . . for a quote! Yo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies! Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her! Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween! Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday! Yo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects! Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry! Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween. Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her. Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away. Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her! Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
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Rabbit Joke
How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath.
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Beauty Joke
What is yellow and goes click-click? A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older? Wizard: With luck, yes. Witch:
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Marriage Joke
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife what is the problem. She responds, 'My husband suffers from premature ejaculation. '
The counselor turns to her husband and inquires, 'Is that true?'
The husband replies, 'Well not exactly, she's the one that suffers, not me. '
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Just for Laughs Joke
The morning after an all-night honeymoon extravaganza in bed, the newlywed wife snuggles up to her hubby and asks, 'Sweetheart, how many others were there before me?'After a few minutes of silence, the wife says, 'Well, I'm waiting. 'And the guy takes a deep breath and says, 'Well, I'm still counting. '
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Men Joke
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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