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5QS |
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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 18th birthday poems and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Kids
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
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Ouch Joke
Mirror, mirror A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says 'Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four'. Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what has happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says: 'Mirror mirror on the door, make my 'manhood' touch the floor!'. Again, there's a bright flash and both his legs fall off.
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Weather Joke
Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather? A) He's got bugs on his teeth.
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Election Joke
The Post Office briefly considered issuing stamps with Bill and Hillary's faces on them. However, test marketing verified that the customers would spit on the wrong side of the stamps.
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Various animal Joke
Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Gerrad, a friend of mine, bought a computer, even though he had never even used a typewriter before. After investigating the computer, he decided to call the help line. A friendly voice explained step by step how his new machine worked. All went well until the voice told him to press the space bar. After studying the keyboard, Gerrad said; 'I've got the latest model and it doesn't have a space bar. ' But after further explanation, he managed to find it. A week later, Gerrad again had problems and called the help line. An instructor was then sent to his house for training. But after a few minutes, Gerrad's head was spinning. 'You don't need to go any further, ' he sighed, I don't understand a thing. 'To cheer him up, the instructor said: 'Hey, there are people who understand a lot less than you. Last week we had someone on the phone who didn't even know where the space bar was!'
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Lawyer Joke
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains. 'How much does it cost for engineer brain?''Three dollars an ounce. ''How much does it cost for programmer brain?''Four dollars an ounce. ''How much for lawyer brain?''$'1
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Political Joke
Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war. . . I'll hide from you too!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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