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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of funny 18th birthday messages and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
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Burger Joke
What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who acted on a TV show? Welcome back, Cutter!
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Burger Joke
Why are hamburgers essential to football? Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!
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Funny Kids Joke
What do you get if you all sit under a cow?A pat on the head!What's the best way to make a bull sweat?Put him in a tight jumper!What do you call a pig that took a plane?Swine flu!What kind of doctor treats ducks?A quack!What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate?Afer ewe!Why did the ram fall over the cliff?He didn't see the ewe turn!What do cows like to dance to?Any kind of moosic you like!Where do sheep get shorn?At the baa baas!What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?A bullfrog!
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School Joke
If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student.
2. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
3. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.
4. If you have ever written a check for 45 cents.
5. If you have a fine collection of domestic beer bottles.
6. If you have ever seen two consectutive sunrises without sleeping.
7. If your glass set is composed of McDonald's Extra Value Meal Plastic Cups (ie. Olympic Dream Team I or II).
8. If your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.
9. If you cannot remember when you last washed your car.
10. If you can pack your worldly possesions into the back of a pick-up (one trip).
11. If you have ever had to justify yourself for buying Natural Light.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
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Business Joke
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, 'My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- make sure th e captain is aboard before getting under way!'
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Animal World
A New York boy was being led through the swamps ofLouisiana by his cousin. 'Is it true that an alligator won'tattack you if you carry a flashlight?'The cousin smirked and replied, 'Depends on how fast yacarry the flashlight. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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