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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun world greenock and other funny jokes |
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Burger Joke
Who was the burger's favourite all-time movie director? Sizzle B. DeMille!
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Necrophillia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Phone Company Gives Something for NothingDear Ann, I think I can top the person who wrote complaining about the idiocy of the phone company. Talk about garbage in, garbage out!When AT&T split with Bell, we had three phones in our house. The equipment belonged to Ma Bell and the service belonged to AT&T. After we returned all the phone equipment to Ma Bell, we received a bill for $0. 00. A few weeks later, we received a check for $5 and a note thanking us. Several months later, we received another computerized bill for $0. 00. We called again, got nowhere, so we sent another check for $0. 00. A few weeks later we received another $5 refund with the same thank you. This went on every three months for two years. Now we are down to once a year and have given up trying to straighten this out. We just cash the $5 and forget about it. -- Linda K. R. in California
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Job and Office Joke
There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all. However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost 'I mean no harm - I just want your photograph'. The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines - he posed for a number of ghostly shots. The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed. So what's the moral of the story?The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says, 'I'm sorry sir, but I can't serve you. . . you've already had too much to drink. ' The guy swears and walks out of the bar. Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says, 'I'm sorry, sir. . . but I can't serve you. . . you've already had too much to drink!' Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man. . . 'I'm really sorry, sir, but you've had too much to drink. . . you're going to have to leave!' The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, 'My God, man. . . How many bars do you work at?!!!'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
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Dog Joke - 2
What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour? A double crosser.
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Kids Joke
What's the best form of birth control after 50?Nudity
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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