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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun word games and other funny jokes |
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School Joke for Kids
It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. 'Hold on there, partner, ' said the snake, 'don't shoot- I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want. 'The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the snake's striking range. He said, 'OK, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding. 'The rattlesnake said, 'All right, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes. 'The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable. He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted. . . 'Oh My God. . . I was riding the MARE!
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Weird Women Joke
Q. Why is the section of body between a womans breasts and her croutch called a waste??A. You could fit another pair of breasts there Sent by sam
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Waiter Joke
Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today. Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.
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Funniest Joke
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
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Parent Joke
Mrs. Ellis came home from work one evening to find her three-year-old son lighting up a cigar. She raced into the kitchen where her husband was making dinner. 'Hey!' she announced. 'This is terrible! I just caught Matthew lighting a cigar!' 'You put a stop to that right now, ' he shouted. 'That kid is altogether too young to be playing with matches!'
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Bar Joke - 2
This lady approaches a priest and tells him, 'Father, I these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing: 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?' ' 'That's terrible!' the priest exclaimed, 'but I have a solution to your problem. You can put them with my two male talking parrots. I taught them to read the bible and pray the rosary. ' The lady brings over her parrots and puts them in the priest's cage. 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?' they say. One male parrot looks over at the other and exclaims, 'Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!'
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor: You need new glasses Patient: How do you know?, I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window!
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Worlds Best Joke
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?A DICTATOR!!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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