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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun wedding invitations and other funny jokes |
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Romance Joke
Some time after their bitter divorce, a man happened to pull up alongside his ex-wife at a traffic signal. He shouted over, 'So. . . out looking for a little, huh ?' She smiled sweetly and said, 'No, I had 6 years of that with you. I'm out looking for a lot !!!'
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Medical Joke
A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, 'Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?''I'm sure I can, ' the psychiatrist replied. 'Just go over and lie face down on that couch. '
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Witch Joke
What do witches ring for in a hotel? B-room service.
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Mouse Joke
What is a mouse's favorite record ? 'Please cheese me' !
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Medical Joke
'I'm in love with my horse, ' the nervous man told his psychiatrist. 'Nothing to worry about, ' the psychiatrist consoled. 'Many peopleare fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are veryattached to. ''But, doctor, ' continued the troubled patient, 'I feel, ummm. . . *physically* attracted to my horse. ''Hmmm, ' the doctor asked, 'Is it male or female?' 'Female, of course!' the man replied. 'What do you think I am. . . GAY???'
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Are you into casual sex, or should I dress up?
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Clare ! Clare who ? Clare your throat before you speak !
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Spiked Humor
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign on a scientist's door: 'Gone fission. ' Sign in a taxidermist's window: 'We really know our stuff. ' Sign in a podiatrist's window: 'Time wounds all heels. ' Sign in a butcher's window: 'Let me meat your needs. ' Sign on used car lot: 'Second hand cars in first crash condition. ' Sign on fence: 'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive. ' Sign in a car dealership office: 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment. ' Sign over a cannibal's hut: 'I never met a man I didn't like. ' Sign in a muffler shop: 'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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