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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun websites for girls and other funny jokes |
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Aviation Joke
Little boy to airline pilot: 'You're a pilot?!?!? That must be exciting. ' Pilot: 'Not if I do it right. '
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Mixed Joke
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disasterFeedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him. Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own. Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms. Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. Show off: A child who is more talented than yours. Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children. Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. Verbal: Able to whine in wordsWhodunit: None of the kids that live in your house. Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into 'get a sponge. '
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Mad Joke
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?Quattro sinko.
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Joke Online
If men had PMS, what would happen?a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it. b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanentdisability. c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days. d) All of the above.
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Naughty Joke
Aspirin makes a great contraceptive. Jhold it between your knees.
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Marriage Joke
A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, 'Don't unleash the beast in me. ' The wife snickered and replied, 'Unlike a lot of women, 'dear
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Idiot and fool Joke
Tyfus applied for a job in a factory. The company doctor who was giving him a physical asked, 'Have your eyes ever been checked?' 'No, ' said the worker. 'They've always been brown. '
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Insect Joke
How to fleas travel ? Itch hiking !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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