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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun tights and other funny jokes |
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Pig Joke
MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today? FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink! SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink! THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof! MOTHER PIG: What? THIRD PIGLET: I'm taking a foreign language.
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Animal World
Two men were walking along the street when they cameupon a dog licking his dick. One man said, 'I sure wish I could do that. ' The other replied, 'You can, but you're probably goingto have to pet him first. '
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Comedian Joke
Having a dog is great, it's just the 'dog people' that freak me out. 'Oh, look at her, she's precious, just like Mommy. ' Me?!? If I birthed something that had 8 nipples - it ain't leaving the house.
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Computer Joke
What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger? A big mac.
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Naughty Joke
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wifeone Friday evening and read's: Dear Wife (that's whathe called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive thisletter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautifuland sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at thehotel there was a letter waiting for him as follows:Dear Husband (that's what she called him) I too am 54and by the time you receive this letter I will be atthe Hilton Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 yearold toy boy. You being an accountant will therefore appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many many more timesthan 54 goes into 18!!!!
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, 'Where were you?'. God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds; look my child, look what I've just finished making. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said what is it? God replied, 'its another planet, but this time, I' ve decided to put LIFE on it. I've named it earth and there's going to be a balance between evertyhing on it. For example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and South America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them - That's going to be a hot spot. Now look over here. I've put a continent of white people in the North and another one of black people in the South'. And then the archangel said, 'and what's that long white line there?' And God said 'ahhh That's the land of the long white cloud - Aotearoa - (New Zealand) That's a very special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth; Beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. These people here are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be fond of travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieveing. And I'm going to give them this superhuman, undefeatable rugby team which will be blessed with the most talented, and charasmatic specimens on the planet, and they will be admired and feared by all who come across them'. Michael the archangel gasped in wonder and admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed, 'hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, you said ther was going to be a balance. . . . . ' God replied wisely, 'wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them'.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Barbie ! Barbie who ? Barbie Q !
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Burger Joke
What kind of a pitch did Sandy Koufax of the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have? A fastball - a sizzler.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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