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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun things to do in scotland and other funny jokes |
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Dinosaur Joke
Q: What dinosaur loves pancakes? A: A tri-syrup-tops.
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Book title Joke
Old English Churches by Beverley Minster
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Law Joke
These two guys, George and Harry, set out in a Hot Air balloon to
cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says:
'Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are'.
Harry lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the
balloon descends to below the cloud cover.
George says: 'I still can't tell where we are, lets ask that guy
on the ground'.
So Harry yells down to the man: 'Hey, could you tell us where we
are?'. And the man on the ground yells back: 'You're in a balloon,
100 feet up in the air'.
George turns to Harry and says: 'That man must be a lawyer'. And
Harry asks: 'How can you tell?'.
'Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate, and totally
useless'.
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Religion Joke
Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle anda banner that said 'N I L'. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymnsto The Great Nullity , The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero inthe Sky. Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and wispered, . . . . . . . . . . 'Is Nothing Sacred?'
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Hair and bald Joke
What do you call a policeman with blonde hair ? A fair cop !
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Various animal Joke
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there!
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Stand Up Joke
A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan from her. The doctor suggests the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks what happen to which the man replies: 'She choked. '
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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