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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun things to do in new york and other funny jokes |
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Naughty Joke
After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraidof spending the rest of her life alone, she decided to marry. She hadbeen with so many perverted men over the years that she felt sheneeded a change and would only get one by marrying a virgin male nearher age. She took out ads in newspapers around the world seeking a malevirgin who was 55 years old. She finally narrowed her choice to anAustralian computer programmer. After a thorough background check, she was satisfied that he hadindeed never been with a woman and they were married. On theirwedding night, she went into the bathroom to change into her nightie. When she came back out, she found that her new husband had taken thebed and everything in the room and stacked it in one corner of theroom. Thinking this was rather kinky, she said to her husband, 'Ithought you had never been with a woman. 'He replied, 'That's true, but if it's anything like screwing akangaroo, we're going to need all the room we can get!
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Friendship Joke
Is this really your third marriage? Sure is. What happened to your first two wives? They died. How did your first wife die? She ate some poisonous mushrooms. What about your second wife? She died from a severe skull fracture. How did she get a skull fracture? She wouldn't eat the mushrooms.
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Dentist Joke
Why does a dentist seem moody? Because he always looks down in the mouth.
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
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Medical Joke
A man went to his dentist because he feels somethingwrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, 'that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago iseroding. What have you been eating?' The man replies, 'allI can think of is that about four months ago my wife madesome asparagus and put some stuff on it that wasdelicious. . . Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now putit on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything. ''Well, ' says the dentist, 'that's probably the problem. Hollindaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which ishighly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll makeyou a new plate, and this time use chrome. ' 'Whychrome?' asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, 'It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate likechrome for the Hollandaise!'
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Math Joke
George W. Bush visits Algeria. As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: 'You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra. . . '
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Joke for Speeches
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks. Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. No one may catch fish with his bare hands. Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights. It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk. All places of business must provide a horse water troft No one may wear a bee in their hat. All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival. Musical car horns are banned It is against the law to leave your car running unattended. The installation of bathtubs is prohibited. Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of Wichita, Kansas. Before proceeding through the interesection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehice and fire three shot gun rounds into the air.
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Joke Online
Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified. You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse! Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea. I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? Whom am I calling 'stupid'? I don't know. What's your name? Take a vacation go to Club Dead. Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle. You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent. You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime. You grow on people -- like a wart!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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