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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun things to do in leeds and other funny jokes |
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Aardvark Joke
What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's songs? It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant!
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Animal World
What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?The wrong answer.
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Business Joke
When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he couldn't increase my pay, but if I told him the names of the three men he'd fire them.
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Doctor and nurse Joke
How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None - They just have a nursing assistant do it.
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Banana Joke
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
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Dirty Joke
A guy walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment. 'Would you like to tell me your problem?' the pretty blonde receptionist asked. 'I'll need the information for the doctor. ' 'It's rather embarrassing' the guy stammered. 'You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection. ' 'Well, the doctor is very busy today' the receptionist cooed, 'but maybe I can squeeze you in. '
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Computer Joke
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define 'great' he said, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!' He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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Ethnic Humor
An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion. 'Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm. 'They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi. 'Okay', says the rabbi, 'let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them. 'Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking screaming orgasm. The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, 'You see, THAT'S the way to wave a towel!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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