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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun things to do in glasgow and other funny jokes |
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Dog Joke - 2
What happens when it rains cats and dogs ?
You can step in a poodle !
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Bar Joke - 1
A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash. The barman says, Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail. I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it. 50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces. Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks. Another trip to the yard and when it's all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, Say what breed is that anyway? The owner says, Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator.
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Bible Joke
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, 'If he gets loose, will he hurt us?'
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Clinton Joke
President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away.
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Hair and bald Joke
a guy was teased everywhere of his totally noticably bald head! Afta goin thru yrs of this, he decided that he should say sumthin about it! so he stood up on2 the tallest statue and shouted 4 everyone 2 hear: 'I AM NOT BALD, ITS JUST THAT IM TALLER THAN MY HAIR!'
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Travel and tourist Joke
How can you tell elephants love to travel ? They are always packing their trunk !
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Fishing Joke
What's the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you.
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Ghost Joke
What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A holy terror.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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