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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun things to do in england and other funny jokes |
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Computer Joke
Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant? A: A mad scientist.
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Dirty Joke
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, 'You know, I could throw a $100. 00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy. ' Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, 'Well, I could throw ten $10. 00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy. ' Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, 'I could throw one hundred $1. 00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy. ' Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, 'I could throw all three of you out the window and make the whole country happy. '
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Joke of the Day
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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Cannibal Joke
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
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Religion Joke
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, 'You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!'The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
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School Joke for Kids
A redneck named Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for. Clem went in first, and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said, Yup, he's burnt real bad; but you'll have to roll him over if you want me to identify him. ' So the mortician rolled the corpse over and Clem looked and said, 'Nope, it ain't Clyde. ' The mortician thought that was rather strange, but proceeded to bring in Zeke to identify the body. After the sheet was pulled back, Zeke took a look and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad; roll him over. ' So, again the mortician rolled the burnt corpse over, and Zeke looked down and said, 'Nope, it ain't Clyde. 'Frustrated, the mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'Zeke answered, 'Well, Clyde had two assholes. ''What!?' The disbelieving mortician asked, 'He had TWO assholes?' 'Yup, that's right, everybody knew Clyde had two assholes. Ever time we went to town, folks would say. . . 'Here comes that thar Clyde with them two assholes!'
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Music Joke
Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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