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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun things to do in edinburgh and other funny jokes |
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Humor Joke
So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. 'Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?' Gramma asked him. 'I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma' exclaimed Johnny. 'There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!' 'Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!' 'Well, Gramma, ' replied Johnny, 'if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!'
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Insect Joke
What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly? An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage. Don't talk rubbish!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I wonder if you would drive well if that cell phone were up your ass.
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Religious Joke
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. 'You're running around with other women, ' she charged. 'You're being unreasonable, ' Adam responded. 'You're the only woman on earth. ' The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. 'What do you think you're doing?' Adam demanded. 'Counting your ribs, ' said Eve.
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College Humor
A woman comes home from shopping and finds her husband in bed with another woman. The man jumps up and says, 'Honey, I can explain!''As I was coming homefrom the golf course, I saw this poor helpless girl on the side of the road. So I gave her a ride and asked her where she was going. She said she had no where to go and hadn't eaten anything in three days. I felt so sorry for her that I brought her home and gave her something to eat. While she was eating, I noticed she had no shoes so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't use anymore. Then I noticed her clothes were worn, so I gave her one of your dresses that you don't use anymore. As she was ready to leave, she turned to me and said, 'Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?''
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Bird Joke
Where do the cleverest parrots live? In the brain tree forests!
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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