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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun things to do in cardiff and other funny jokes |
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Travel and tourist Joke
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:'I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?' An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, 'I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too. '
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Simple Joke
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, 'If he gets loose, will he hurt us?'
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Satire Joke
Q: What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us? A: In order for us to get some dick in the White House, we had to go out and vote. Q: How will history remember Bill Clinton? A: The President after Bush. Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy? A: One tries to hump the leg of every woman in the White House, the other is a chocolate Lab. Q: What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office? A: 'Don't hit your head on the desk. 'Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President's day? A: All pants half off. Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Buffalo Bills have in common? A: They both blew the big one several times. Q: What was the first thing Monica saw in government? A: The Executive Branch. Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and soda pop machines have in common? A: They both have slots which say 'Insert Bill' here. '
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Religion Joke
When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he wentout and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might noticehim on the parade route. When he went to the parade, there wasthis bum standing next to him, with old, dirty clothes on. Thethe guy's amazement, when the Pope came, he went over to thebum, and whispered something in his ear. Enraged, the guy wentover to the bum and offered him $100 for the clothes off hisback. Next day, he went back to the parade dressed like a bum. Sure enough, when the Pope came, he stopped in front of thisguy, and whispered in his ear, 'I thought I told you to getthe hell out of here!'
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Blonde Joke - 1
A blonde once shot an arrow into the air. . . but missed!
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? 'Attention K-Mart shoppers. . . '
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Dog Joke - 2
What should you do if you see a vicious dog? Hope he doesn't see you.
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet. Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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