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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun things to do in brighton and other funny jokes |
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Irish Joke
Murphy said to his daughter, 'I want you home by eleven o'clock. ' She said, 'But Father, I'm no longer a child!' He said, 'I know, that's why I want you home by eleven. '
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Christmas Joke - 1
What did Dracula say at the Christmas party ? Fancy a bite ?
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, 'What do you want on your back for your whipping?' The German responds, 'I will take oil!' So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, 'What do you want on your back?' 'I will take nothing!' says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. 'What will you take on your back?' the Amazons ask the American. He responds, 'I'll take the Mexican. '
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At Work Joke
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat, the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. 'Boss', he said, 'The pill actually worked!''That's all fine' said the boss, 'But where were you yesterday?'
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Biologist Joke
Ben was assigned a new wildlife technician and she was driving him crazy. She was blonde and pretty and insisted on carrying beauty products in a little field bag - nail polish, hair care products, gels, creams and so on. One day they were driving the rugged four-wheel drive down a dirt road when a big rabbit ran in front of them and was hit by the truck. Ben pulls over and walks back to the dead rabbit. He felt terrible, but there was clearly nothing he could do for the dead creature. His blonde partner pipes in and yells, 'Waite, I have just the thing!' She races back to the truck and begins to rifle through her beauty products. Ben watches as brushes and combs fly from the bag. Finally she races back with an aerosol can and sprays the dead rabbit with it's contents. Immediately the rabbit springs to its feet, waves goodbye, hops a few feet, pauses and waves again. The rabbit repe ats this strange behavior. . . wave-hop-wave-hop, until it disappears over the hill. Ben is amazed and asks, 'What in the world is in that can?' The blonde biologists says, ' Duh. . . look at the label' You guessed it. . . . 'Hair Spray . . . . Immediately revives dead hair and creates a permanent wave'
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Cow Joke
I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower!
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Various animal Joke
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle ? A polo bear !
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Math Joke
The chef instructs his apprentice: 'You take two thirds of water, one third of cream, one third of broth. . . '
The apprentice: 'But that makes four thirds already!'
'Well - just take a larger pot!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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