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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun tests and quizzes and other funny jokes |
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Funniest Joke
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?A: Stick his bill up his ass!
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Legal Humor
An older woman was in the pastoral study counceling for her upcoming fourth wedding. 'Father, ' she said, 'How am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?' 'My child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that cannot be, ' he replied. 'Well Father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk. The next one was in construction and he always said he'd get to it tomorrow. The last one was a gynecologist and all he did was look at it. But this time, Father, I'm marrying a lawyer, so I'm sure I'm going to get screwed this time!'
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Old Age Joke
An elderly couple were driving cross-country, and the woman was at the wheel
She gets pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer says, 'Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?'
The woman turns to her husband and asks, 'What did he say?'
The old man yells, 'HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING. '
The patrolman says, 'May I see your license?'
The woman turns to her husband and asks, 'What did he say?'
The old man yells, 'HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE. '
The woman gives him her license.
The patrolman says, 'I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had. '
The woman turns to her husband and asks, 'What did he say?'
'HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU,' the old man yells.
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Lawyer Joke
Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The second lawyer disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.
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Snake Joke
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird ? A feather boa !sna
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Religious Joke
What do you get when you cross a Jehova's witness with a business man? A door to door salesman!
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School Joke for Kids
A doctor from Canada was having an affair with one of his female co-workers. One day she announced to him that she was pregnant with his child. The doctor gave her enough money to fly to California and live their until the child was born. He gave her instructions to send him a postcard with the word SAURKRAUT on it when she gave birth. About nine months later the doctor arrived home when his wife handed him a postcard. 'Here', she said. 'This came in the mail today'. The doctor took the postcard and it read. . . SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT TWO WITH WEINERS & ONE WITHOUT!
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School Joke for Kids
Kelly limps into his favorite pub. . . My god! What happened to you?' the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. 'I got in a tiff with Riley', whispered Kelly to the beertender. 'Riley? He's just a wee fellow, ' the barkeep said surprised. 'He must have had something in his hand. ''That he did, ' Kelly said. 'A shovel it was. ''Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?''Aye, that I did - Mrs. Riley's right tit. ' Kelly said. 'And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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