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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun team building games and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!
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Worlds Best Joke
The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, 'I've found a woman just like mother!' His father replied, 'So what do you want from me, sympathy?'The high divorce rates in America indicate that the U. S. is still the Land of the Free, but your marriage demonstrates that we also remain the Home of the Brave!The man says: With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow. (Book of Common Prayer)The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. If you are the best man at a wedding there is always my favorite toast:The screwing you'll get is going to be worth the screwing you'll get. I didn't have the guts to use it at the wedding but it got a lot of laughs at the bachelor party. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him. The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. The three stages of sex in marriage: tri-weekly; try-weekly; try-weakly. The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it. The wedding night should be like a good chicken meal, a little bit of breast, a little bit of leg. . . and a lot of stuffing!!!The woman cries before wedding; the man afterward. Their marriage is a wonderful partnership. He's the silent one. There is something magical about the fact that success almost always comes faster to the guy your wife almost married. They were married on the cricket field, that night they were quite wicket, the bride said with a happy smile, I'm sure this can't be cricket. Think how much fun you could have with the doctor's wife and a bucket of apples. This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother. I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. To the bride: To be happy in your marriage, you should approach each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your period. Treat him like a flower. . . grab him by the stalk. Treat the bride like a new car, go easy for the first500. Two passing ships making matrimonial knots while fouled in each others stern line, recommended inter between course 69 Stop. Happy voyage, bottoms up. We are curious to know why you both wanted to borrow the black leather boots and bullwhip?Weeping bride, laughing wife; laughing bride, weeping wife. When the best man is reading the telegrams: From your friends on the H. M. C. S. Harmen, 'At ten o clock, please report position and depth. 'When god made man he made em out of string, He had a little left over so he left a little thing, When god made women he made em out of lace, He didn't have enough so he left a little space, Here's to space!Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. Your TV viewing on your wedding night will be. . . Firstly, The Marriage Game, Followed by, Great Temptation, The Untouchables, Mission Impossible, The Time is Right, Rawhide and Bonanza. The rising sun may kiss the grass, The clock may kiss the hours that pass The flowing wine may kiss the glass, And you my friends. . . Drink Hearty!When a woman gets to the 'better or worse' part of the wedding ceremony, she's already experienced the better part. Propose this toast: John, you are a lucky groom; you've got Mary. She's beautiful, smart, funny, warm, and loving. Mary, you've got. . . . John. To Space When God made Man, He made him out of string. He had a little left over, So, he made a little thing. When God made Woman, He made her out of lace. He didn't have enough, So, he left a little space. To Space. Sayings To Write With Shaving Cream On The Newlywed Car To Bed or Bust She got him today - He'll get her tonight Just living together
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Stand Up Joke
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
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Funny Kids Joke
What is the best fish to eat with cream?
Jelly fish.
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Aviation Joke
During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U. S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ballpoint pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of about $1 million U. S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Don't follow me, I'm lost
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q: What do you call a blonde sky diving team? A: A new version of the lawn dart's game.
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Animal World
What's green and has wheels?A FrogI lied about the wheels
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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