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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun summer jobs and other funny jokes |
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Dirty Joke
While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable to perform. On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through a movie magazine. Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. Looking down at this, he snarled, 'Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!'
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Naughty Joke
There were three brothers who bought a three story house. The eldest brother had the top floor, the middle had the middle floor, and the youngest got the bottom floor. A little while after they moved in, the eldest brother brought over his girlfriend. During that night, the two younger brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh. The next morning, the younger brothers asked their brother what the noise they'd heard last night was. He replied, 'Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl. 'The middle brother was excited by that, so he brought over his girlfriend the next night. During that night, the two other brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh. The eldest and youngest asked him what the noise in his room last night was. He replied, 'Click- turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl. 'Now, the youngest brother was really excited. So he brought over his girlfriend, and that night, the older brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!In the morning, the older brothers asked him what the noise in his room was. So, he said, 'Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-landed on the bedpost!
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Redneck Joke
One morning at church, the pastor was preaching about what God was and wasn't. He said 'God is neither white, nor black. God is neither male nor female. 'After hearing all this, a curious 5 year old turned to his dad and asked -'Daddy, is God Michael Jackson?'
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Comedy Joke
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I love animals. I eat them and wear their skins.
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Snake Joke
What is another word for a python ? A mega-bite !
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Miscellaneous Joke
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. For years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp. They rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. The genie says 'since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one. ' So the brunette goes first, 'I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life - I just want to go home. ' POOF, she is gone. The redhead makes her wish, 'This place sucks, I want to go home too. ' POOF, she is gone. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, 'What is the matter?' The blonde said, 'I wish my friends were here. '
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At Work Joke
How do you know if your secretary?s having a bad day?Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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