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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun stamps and other funny jokes |
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Dirty Joke
What's the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with the light on.
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Old People Joke
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, 'Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50. ' The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, 'It's his turn with the teeth. '
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, 'Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona. ' The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, 'I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers
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Rabbit Joke
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
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Fun Funny Joke
Both look stupid in hats. Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting. Both tend to have 'hip' problems. Neither understand football. Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say. Neither believe that silence is golden. Both constantly want back rubs. Neither can balance a checkbook. You can never tell what either of them is thinking. Both put too much value on kissing. ***** HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS *****It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman. Women look good in sweaters.
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Religious Joke
The Chief Rabbi and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices a fancy shmancy phone on a side table in the Pope's private chambers. 'What's that phone for?' he asks. 'It's my direct line to the Lord!' the Pope replies. The Rabbi is doubtful, but the Pope insists that he tries it out and, indeed, he is connected to the Lord and chats away with Him for a while. After he hangs up the Rabbi says. 'Thank you very much. This is great! But listen, I want to pay for the charges I have used up. ' The Pope doesn't want to take the money, but finally gives in, checks the counter and says: Allright! The charge was '50
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Aviation Joke
USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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