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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun socks and other funny jokes |
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Elephant Joke
What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !
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Fun Funny Joke
A Priest, a Nun, and a Camel are crossing the desert. The camel falls dead. Before I die the father says, 'I would like to see a woman naked. So the nun takes off all her clothes. She then says, 'before I die i would like to see a man naked. So the father takes off his clothes. She looks at his penis and says, 'My God!! What is that for?'He says 'You stick it in a hole and it brings forth life. 'The nun replies, 'Then how about you stick it up that camels ass and let's get the hell out of here!'
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School Joke
Art Teacher: The picture of the horse is good, but where is the wagon ? Pupil: The horse will draw it !
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Short Stupid Joke
A mature woman was in the pastorial study counseling for her upcoming fourth wedding. 'Father, how am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?''My child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that cannot be. ''Well, father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk, and the next one was in construction and he always said he'd get to it tomorrow. The last one was a gynecologist and all he did was look. But this time, father, I'm marrying a lawyer and I'm sure I'm going to get screwed!'
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Ethnical Joke
There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, 'Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!'After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, 'Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!'And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, 'Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!'The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, 'Wah. . . so expensive!'There upon, the driver yelled back, 'Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!'
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College Humor
1. Bicycles don't pregnant. 2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month. 3. Bicycles don't have parents. 4. Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong. 5. You can share your bicycles with your friends. 6. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you've ridden. 7. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time. 8. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you have now. 9. Bicycles don't care if you look at other bicycles. 10. Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines. 11. You'll never hear, 'Suprise, you're goning to own a new bicycle' unless you go out and buy one yourself. 12. If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it. 13. If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it. 14. If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it. 15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents. 16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle. 17. If you say bad things to your bicycle, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again. 18. You can ride your bicycle as long as you want and it wont get sore. 19. You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it wont get frustrated. 20. Your parents wont remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump it. 21. Bicycles don't get headaches. 22. Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider. 23. Your bicyle never wants a night out with other bicycles. 24. Bicycles don't care if you're late. 25. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle. 26. If your bicycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts. 27. You can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother. 28. The only protection you need to wear when riding your bicycle is a decent helment. 29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your bicycle.
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Medical Joke
The young lady entered the doctor's office carrying an infant. 'Doctor, ' she explained, 'the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week. ' The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the girl's breasts. He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on one nipple. 'Young lady, ' he finally announced, 'no wonder the baby is losing weight, you haven't any milk!' 'Of course not!' she shrieked. 'It's not my child, it's my sister's!'
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Sport Joke
Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom ? Captain: Well, it could have been worse. Manager: How ? Captain: There could have been more teams in the league !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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