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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun snaps and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 4
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Charles ! Charles who ? Charles your luck on the lottery !
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Sporting Joke
Jack was first up in his foursome. Eyeing the ball, he swung his club and hooked his shot over the fence and down a road where the ball crashed through the windshield of an oncoming car. The startled driver lost control of his vehicle, and it spun into a parking lot and bounced off three cars. Jack raced over to the crash scene and was relieved to find that no one was hurt. Almost immediately a policeman arrived and spotted Jack standing next to the crashed car eyeing his ball. 'Just what are you going to do about this?' demanded the policeman. Jack looked up. 'Well, the first thing I'm going to do is change my grip. '
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Naughty Joke
A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar gettingdrunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she's so down. 'My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed, ' she said. 'What a coincidence! My wife just left me, ' said the man, 'she toldme that I was too kinky for her, too!'The two talk a little while longer, and finding that they have somuch in common they decide to go back to the woman's house to havekinky sex. When they get to the woman's house she turns to the man and says, 'Give me ten minutes, I want to slip into something more comfortable. 'She goes into the bathroom and changes into a full leather dominatrixoutfit. However, as she is coming out of her bathroom, the man is putting onhis coat and walking out the door. 'What happened?' She said, 'I thought you wanted to have kinky sex?'He looks at her and says, 'Well, I just screwed your dog and shit inyour purse. I'm done. '
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Women Joke
On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. 'I'm too young to die!' she wails. Then she yells, 'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??' For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. 'I can make you feel like a woman, ' he says. This tall, tanned and built guy with jet black eyes starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one move s. As this man approaches, the woman begins to get excited. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: 'Iron this. '
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Worlds Best Joke
What do Chinese people name their retarded children?Som Ting Wong
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Marriage Joke
A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt. He replies, 'Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes. '
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Best Joke Online
A lady was a huge Paul MCCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted. He says: 'OK, take your skirt and underwear off and sit in the chair with your legs apart'. She did that and he started on the tattoo. Pretty soon he's done, blows off the dust and admires his work. 'Who the heck's that?' she says. 'It's Paul McCartney', he replies. 'Doesn't look like him at all' says she. 'Now get it right or I'll report you'. So the tattooist starts on the other thigh. Really trying hard to do a better job. Finally he's done, blows off the dust and feels pretty good. The woman is pissed off 'No way that's Paul Mccartney' she says. 'It bloody well is' says the man. 'Listen I'll get a second opinion'He goes out of his store and grabs the first person he sees. The guy is a drunk who's been stumbling along the sidewalk. The tattooist drags the drunk into his store. There's the woman, sitting legs apart with nothing on below her waist. The tattoist says to the drunk (pointing at the womans legs). . . 'Tell me who the hell you think that is'. The drunk says (in a drunken slur voice), 'I've no idea who the people are on her thighs but the guy in the middle is a dead ringer for Willie Nelson'!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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