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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun science for kids and other funny jokes |
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Love and Marriage Joke
Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying. 'Well, ' says the old fellow, 'I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves. ' The policeman looks at the old man and says, 'You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!' So the old man says, 'I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!'
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Rabbit Joke
What weighs 35 tons, has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old? Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.
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College Humor
Why did the pervert cross the road?He was stuck to the chicken.
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Joke for Kids
A man who went to Church with his wife fell was always falling asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with every time he would doze off. As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out '. . . and who created all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th. . ' She poked her husband who then came flying out of the pew and screamed 'Good God all mighty'. The minister said 'That's right, that's right' and went on with his sermon. The man sat back down, muttering under his breath and later began to doze off again when the minister got to '. . . and who died on the cross to save us from our sins. . . ' the wife hit him again and he jumped up and shouted 'Jesus Christ'. The Minister said 'that's right, That's Right' and went on with his sermon. The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to '. . . and what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their second child' the wife started to poke the husband but he jumped up and said 'If you stick that damn thing in me again I'll break it off'!
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote! Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.
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Blonde Joke - 1
A friend meets up with her friend as she is picking her car up from the mechanic. Her friend asks, 'Everything ok with your car now?' The blonde replies, 'Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid. '
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Worlds Best Joke
What did the blind man say when he was handed a cheese grater? - 'Thats the most violent book I've ever read. '
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says 'okay!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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