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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun science experiments for kids and other funny jokes |
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Baby Joke
What is a baby bee? A little humbug.
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Blonde Joke - 3
Why can't blondes make Kool Aid? Because they can't figure out how to get eight cups of water into that tiny little package.
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Dog Joke - 2
What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats like a dog, but isn't a dog? A pup.
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Comedy Joke
A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He looks at his mom and says, 'Mom, look, I'm a white boy!'His mom slaps him in the kisser and says, 'Go show your father!'He goes to his dad in the living room and says, 'Look dad, I'm a white boy!' His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, 'Go show your Grandmother!'The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, 'Look granny, I'm a white boy!' His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says 'See. Did you learn anything from that?!'To which the boy replies, 'Sure enough did. I've only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate you black people!'
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Book title Joke
Ropin' and Ranchin' by Larry Yett
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Funniest Joke
Bill gates has been in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. 'Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure where to send you. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide whether you want to go to Heaven or Hell. 'Bill replied, 'Well, what's the difference between the two?'St. Peter: 'I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision. 'Bill: 'Fine, but where should I go first?'St. Peter: 'I'll leave that up to you. ''Okay then, ' said Bill, 'Let's try Hell first. 'So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing, and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. 'This is great!' he told St. Peter. 'If this is hell, I really want to see heaven!''Fine, ' said St. Peter, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a minute, and rendered his decision. 'Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell, ' he told St. Peter. 'Fine, ' retorted St. Peter, 'as you desire. ' So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons. 'How's everything going?' he asked Bill. Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, 'This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?' 'That was a demo, ' replied St. Peter.
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Dentist Joke
I came in to make an appointment with the dentist. said the man to the receptionist. ' 'I'm sorry sir. ' she replied. 'He's out right now, but. . . ' 'Thank you. ' interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. 'When will he be out again ?'
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Comedian Joke
My HMO is terrible. They charge me for a self-examination. It's a flat fee. -Wendy Liebman
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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