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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun rubber gloves and other funny jokes |
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Friendship Joke
'I've had it with my wife. ' said the one drinking buddy to the other. 'I'm filing for an divorce. ''Sorry to hear that pal. ' said his partner. 'May I ask why?''I found her supply of birth control pills. ' said the first. 'Listen Frank, with all due respect to your religion, I just can't see leaving your wife for what the Church says is a sin. ''It ain't just that. ' stormed Frank. 'I had a vasectomy over five years ago. '
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Fishing Joke
Tim once took his small cousin with him while he went fishing: When he returned, he was looking very fed up. 'I'll never do that again, ' he complained to his Dad. 'Did she frighten off the fish?' enquired Dad. 'No, ' replied Tim. 'She sat on the bank and ate all my maggots. '
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American Joke
Bloke comes home from the bar drunk at 4am in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he tries to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and lets rip a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, 'What in the world was that?'
He replies, 'Touchdown, I'm up 7 nothing. '
She thinks to herself, 'I'm gonna fix him. ' Then she lets one loose.
He yells at her, 'What was that?'
She replies 'Touchdown, tie score. '
Now he thinks, 'I'm gonna fix her. ' He's laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he craps in bed.
The wife asks, 'Now what in the world was that?'
He replied, 'Half time, switch sides. '
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Kids School Joke
Why did the lizard go on a diet?It weighed too much for its scales!
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Gabor.
Gabor who?
Gabor'n to shop till I drop.
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Fun Joke
A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out from it followed by a harem of women, and a rooster. The 'party' is escorted to a table and given a menu. When time to order the sheik orders for himself and the harem, and also asks for a basket of apples for the rooster. The waiter thinks it a bit strange, but does as is asked, and brings the apples for the rooster. One by one, the rooster eats all of the apples. Havingnoticed this, the sheik orders another basket of apples for the rooster. Again the rooster eats all the apples. When summoned again, the waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster. The sheik explains:'I was in the desert one day and found a lamp. It was a bit dirty so I rubbed it to clean it. Just as I did, out came a Genie and granted me three wishes. . . My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beatiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
U-8.
U-8 who?
U-8 all my dinner.
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College Humor
Why did God give woman nipples?To make suckers out of men.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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