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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun royale and other funny jokes |
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Spoof Joke
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, 'So what's bothering you, dear?'She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night. 'The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?'She says, 'That he did, Father. . . 'The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?'She says, 'He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn gun. . . ''
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Aviation Joke
Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children.
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Easy to Remember Joke
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet. Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ? A: Turkey. Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey. Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign AmbassadorQ: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: None. They can't turn them on anyway. Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $'8
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Vampire Joke
How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap.
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Aardvark.
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles.
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Mental health Joke
A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, 'It seems I can't make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?'
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Clean Humor
The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. 'I demand proper manners in bed, ' she declared, 'just as I do at the dinner table!'Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. 'Is that better?' he asked, with a hint of a smile. 'Yes, ' replied the girl, 'much better. ''Very good, darling, ' the husband whispered. 'Now would you be so kind as to please pass the pussy. '
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Aviation Joke
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. 'Excuse me, General, ' she ask s quietly, 'but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?' The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, 'I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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