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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun restaurants in london and other funny jokes |
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Internet Joke
I hope you're not one of those pupils who spends all day on the Net and doesn't get any exercise. Oh, no, miss, I often sit around watching TV and not getting exercise either.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, One was Russian and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German whilst the Russian decided to take along cigarettes. Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home. First came the American and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms. Next came the Englishman speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing round of applause. Suddenly, out came the Russian with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium, snarled at the crowd, and asked 'Has anyone got a friggin' match?'
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Funny Famous Joke
Science definitions from Kids. . . H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell a oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes, and caterpillers. Blood flows down one leg and up the other. Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration. The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire. A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold. Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects. The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is that it is something to hitch meat to. A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors. The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the Moon, because there is no water in the Moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the Sun joins this fight. A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is. Equator: a managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa. Germinate: to become a naturalized German. Liter: a nest of young puppies. Magnet: something you find crawling all over a dead cat. Planet: a body of earth surrounded by sky. Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot. Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose. For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops. For a dog bite, put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it. For a head cold, use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat. To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
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Insect Joke
Where do bees go on holiday ? Stingapore !
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Spelling Joke
Mah son's real smart! crowed the redneck mother to an acquaintance. 'He's only six but he can already spell his name backwards and forwards!' 'What's his name?' asked the friend. 'Bob. '
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Biologist Joke
A group of goose biologists were meeting to brainstorm about the migration tactics of Canada geese. They were particularly interested in applying for a $'100
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Car and train Joke
Policeman: Didn't you see the signs with the speed limit? Driver: I thought they were just suggestions.
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Simple Joke
Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an end to it by arousing his jealousy. 'What would you say if I told you that I've been sleeping with your best friend?' she asked provocatively. 'Well, ' he mused, 'I'd have to say that you're a lesbian!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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