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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun recycling games and other funny jokes |
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Elephant Joke
What is an elephants favourite film ? Elephantasia
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Horse Joke
An Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own horse ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the spread of his dreams out west. 'So what did you name the ranch?' asked his best friend when came to visit. 'We had a heck of a time,' admitted the new cowboy, couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond ABC XYZ Ranch. 'Wow!' his friend was impressed. 'So where are all the horses?' 'None of 'em survived the branding. '
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Village Idiot Joke
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?What do people in China call their good plates?What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?What do you call a male ladybug?What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Alceste ! Alceste who ? Alceste to meet him later !
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American Joke
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicians, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The farmer said, 'I buried 'em all. . . out back. '
The sheriff then asked, 'Were they ALL dead?'
The old farmer replied, 'Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie. '
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Dog Joke - 1
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' says the vet, 'Let's have a look at him. '
So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes.
'I'm going to have to put him down' says the vet.
'What? Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's chuffin' heavy!'
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Alec ! Alec who ? Alec-tricity. Isn't that a shock !
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Law Joke
A fellow walks into a bar with a ten-inch, scowling man on his
shoulder. He orders a drink. The little man jumps off the shoulder,
drinks a third of the drink and climbs back up. The fellow then
orders a sandwich. The little man likewise devours a third of the
sandwich.
After this goes on for two more drinks, the bartender says, 'Hey
buddy, I don't usually pry into customers' private affairs, but
what the heck is it with that little guy?'
The customer replies, 'Well, I found a bottle on the beach. When
I uncorked it, out popped a genie. He gave me one wish. I asked for
a 10-inch prick, and the genie shrunk my lawyer!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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