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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun recipes for children and other funny jokes |
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Weather Joke
Nate: 'Hey, what's the weather like out there?' Kate: 'I don't know. I'll tell you when it clears. '
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Rabbit Joke
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
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Horse Joke
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, 'You certainly will, and you'll probably beat her too!'
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Aviation Joke
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!'
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Situations Humor
A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. The guy says 'OK, ' and goes to the pharmacy to buy three Dramamine and three condoms. Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he'll take it. Returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms. The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise. Guy says, 'OK, ' and goes back to the drug store and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms. Finally, the pharmacist asks, 'Look, if it makes you sick, how come you keep doing it?'
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Bar Joke - 1
Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him, for his constant nights out, and coming home in a drunken state. But, Harry continued his nightly routine. One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her husband's behavior, and was particularly distraught by it all. The friend listened to her, and then said, 'Why don't you treat him a little differently, when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words, and welcome him home with a kiss? He then might change his ways. ' The wife thought that might be a good idea. That night, Harry took off again, after dinner. And, about midnight, he arrived home, in his usual condition. His wife heard him at the door, and quickly went to it, and opened the door, and let Harry in. This time, instead of berating him, as she had always done, she took his arm, and led him into the living room. She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him, and started to cuddle him a little. After a little while, she said to him, 'It's pretty late, dear. I think we had better go upstairs to bed, now, don't you think?'At that, Harry replied, in his inebriated state, 'I guess we might as well. I'll be getting in trouble with the stupid wife when I get home anyway!'
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School Joke
Teacher : Were you copying his sums ? Pupil : No Sir, just seeing if he got mine right !
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A young attorney who had taken over his father?s practice rushed home elated one night. 'Dad, listen, ' he shouted, 'I?ve finally settled that old McKinney suit. ''Settled it!' cried his astonished father. 'Why, you idiot! We have been living off of that money for five years!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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