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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun pyjamas and other funny jokes |
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Humor Joke
Dad, did you manage to fix my toy? No, it's not broken, the battery's flat. Well, what shape should it be?
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Love and Marriage Joke
If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.
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School Joke
The teacher spent the entire hour reading to her class about the bison family. When she had finished, she said, “Name some things that are very dangerous to get near to and have horns. ”
Little Johnny spoke up without hesitation, “Automobiles?
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Vampire Joke
How do you join a Vampire Fan Club? Send your name, address and blood group.
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Travel Humor
For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this oneis for you. It's a classic! In tribute to those 'special' customers we alllove! An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for beingsmart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger whoprobably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded United flight was canceled. Asingle agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticketdown on the counter and said, 'I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to beFIRST CLASS. ' The agent replied, 'I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to helpyou, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able towork something out. ' The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so thatthe passengers behind him could hear, 'Do you have any idea who I am?' Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public addressmicrophone. 'May I have your attention please?' she began, her voice bellowingthroughout the terminal. 'We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOTKNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to thegate. ' With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the manglared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, 'F*** you. ' Without flinching, she smiled and said, 'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll haveto stand in line for that, too. '
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Dirty Joke
Q: What are the small bumps around a woman s nipples for? A: It's Braille for 'Suck here. '
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Naughty Joke
A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night. Her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity. They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom. When the guy walks in the door, he notices all these fluffy toys. There's hundreds of them, fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the bookshelf and window sill, there's more on the floor, and of course fluffy toys all over the bed. Later after they've had sex, he turns to her and asks 'So, how was I?' She says 'Well . . . you can take anything from the bottom shelf. '
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Fishing Joke
Where do fish come from? Finland!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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